I wanted to think that on the second official day of this blog that I would be disappointed. I thought that I would not have enough material (or rage) from the slobitude my office is subjected too in the kitchen. I wanted to think, "Hey, people can change, or at the very least, can not be the giant inconsiderate pigs I think they are. I was wrong.
Then I was rewarded (fistfucked) with the scene above. Let's take a closer look.
That would be yet another soap container, the dish soap this time, accompanied by five mugs and a glass just stewing in filth. What is under the sponge?
A mug ringed with whatever dirty goodness you wanted to share with the office, douchebag! At least that one in the middle looks like it was rinsed. Those two on the left though, they are left with the browned remnants of whatever beverage you enjoyed before deciding that you wanted to not clean up your own fucking mess. I appreciate that chunk of smegma in the one in the lower right portion of the frame. Wait, was the dishwasher full?
Yes. It had just finished. I snapped and I grabbed the other person in the kitchen with me and ordered that person to unload the dishwasher with me. I also made that individual unload this hot mess.
That is the dish drainer, filled to capacity with suspiciously washed dishes. I kind of trust the bowls and plates, mostly because they did not have spots or chunks on them, but I definitely did not trust the utensils. I loaded them in the dishwasher (after imposed kitchen friend and I emptied it). I also started investigating the utensil drawer and almost blew an O-Ring. I didn't take a picture of the hot mess I found because I was so enraged by the disorder. The best way to describe what I saw is to say that a hurricane of filth pentrated the cradle of utensile holdership and had a Sheik of Arabi orgy with them. This included a smattering of used birthday candles, a fistfull of (definitely once used) plastic eating implements and one pair of chopsticks that were still in their original non-hermetically sealed paper sleeve.
I finished my mini-kitchen organization when somebody else entered the room and went to microwave some oatmeal. That is when I found this.
My initial thought was," HAHAHAHA THAT IS FUCKING HYSTERICAL. FUCKING CLEAN THAT SHIT!" Then I thought about it.
The wonderfully sarcastic (yet horribly lazy) person who put the paper towel and spray bottle in the microwave had seen the terrible splatter-spooge in the microwave and decided that rather than take the initiative to help their fellow coworker, they would leave a sarcastic message to the next person. Really? Fuck you.
I stormed off and went to work.
Later, in the kitchen I witnessed a coworker put the spray bottle and paper towels back in the same microwave.
"Oh, it was you," I said.
"Yes it was me. I cleaned out the other microwave and I want other people who make the mess to take their part."
I sort of understand the motivation, but I was raised to finish any job started. If you clean out one microwave, you clean out the other one. You took the energy and initiative to start, why quit halfway through?
But no. I am going to clean one and then in all to holier than thou mode, I am going to throw a perfectly good and clean roll of paper towels into a filthy marinara sauce infested microwave. To borrow a phrase from Chris Rock, "Who the fuck is you?"
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